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What are the Right sexual practices accepted in Christianity?

Most married Christians do what works for them when it comes to sex. If they have been fortunate enough to find something that provides them happiness, pleasure, intimacy, and climax, they will almost certainly continue that practice. On the other hand, some are tormented with guilt because they question whether what they’re doing is wrong.

TCW gets many queries from Christian individuals who want to know what is and is not acceptable sexual behavior. Unfortunately, churches tend to neglect this problem, small groups seldom discuss sex, and most Christian literature focuses on more “spiritual” topics.

Wouldn’t it be great to have a list of sexual activities classified as “sinful” or “okay”? Is such a list available? Is everyone in agreement with the list? Is there a way out of this bind?

We believe the answers to those questions are, in that sequence, yes, no, no, and probably not. We’d want to compile such a list that will put to rest any lingering misgivings regarding sexual behaviors once and for all. But that’s not going to happen. Diverse Christian groups have different perspectives on sexual activities, founded on a few broad scriptural precepts. No list would be acceptable to all Christians. Still, we’d like to provide some suggestions that we believe will help you make the most of the gift that is your sexuality. That is what we believe God desires for every one of his children.

We doubt God is taken aback by the intensity of our sexual yearning or its satisfaction. Seeing us appreciate the passion and pleasure seemed to align with his creative nature. However, certain distinct limits have been defined via his Word. These are put in place to safeguard and improve the recipient’s pleasure of the gift. We compare it to giving our children bicycles. We’d teach them the laws of the road straight immediately so they could enjoy the trip without being hit by a vehicle on a busy roadway.

First, we’d want to state the obvious: the Bible is not a textbook on sexual technique. Some claim that the Song of Solomon outlines appropriate sexual positions and activities. It strikes us as a lyrical love song that celebrates the delight of sexual activity. We do not believe it is an effort to define particular sexual behaviors.

We doubt God is taken aback by the intensity of our sexual yearning or its satisfaction. Seeing us appreciate the passion and pleasure seemed to align with his creative nature. However, certain distinct limits have been defined via his Word. These are put in place to safeguard and improve the recipient’s pleasure of the gift. We compare it to giving our children bicycles. We’d teach them the laws of the road straight immediately so they could enjoy the trip without being hit by a vehicle on a busy roadway.

First, we’d want to state the obvious: the Bible is not a textbook on sexual technique. Some claim that the Song of Solomon outlines appropriate sexual positions and activities. It strikes us as a lyrical love song that celebrates the delight of sexual activity. We do not believe it is an effort to define particular sexual behaviors.

Second, we want to underline that some sexual activities are explicitly condemned in the Bible. Adultery, or having sexual relations with someone else’s spouse or a partner other than your marriage, is a sin. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus emphasizes the need for marital faithfulness by expanding the adultery ban to encompass both a lusty mental life and the actual act of intercourse. Examining our brains and emotions is a crucial guideline for preserving the pleasures of connection.

Finally, there is a wide range of conceivable sexual activities for married couples that are not described at all in the Bible (we can find no reference to Internet pornography, vibrators, or videos). So, because we are unlikely to obtain a final explanation, the most we can do is adapt the ideas God has given us to the cultural context in which we live. As we seek for them, you may be startled to learn that we’re not much different in the 20th century than we’ve been from the beginning of time. We have the same physical structure, physiologic hormones, mental ability for passion and imagination, and relational needs that have traditionally led men and women to seek sexual pleasure and closeness. “There is nothing new under the sun,” as Ecclesiastes says, save maybe a plethora of new toys.

Exclusivity

Numerous researches have validated what the biblical commandments entail. Being one flesh with one person gives the most conducive environment for fulfilling sexual connection. Sex is not a spectator sport for communal enjoyment, nor is it a competition to see who can score with the most partners. Casual intercourse to demonstrate one’s skill or seek physiologic release of sexual tension only proves that one’s capacity to copulate is intact. Although it provides some pleasure, it falls short of meeting the more profound desire for closeness that sex was intended to provide.

Mutuality

Most couples recognize that males and females have pretty distinct sexual interests and urge early on. Men often prefer more frequent sex and a broader diversity of sexual play styles. Women often want greater emotional connection via sensitive touch and dialogue and a more consistent love-making style. These variances often result in a conflict about intercourse positions, frequency of sex, and exploration with other forms of stimulation.

This opens up many possibilities for a couple to establish reciprocal subservience in their relationship. Each person will show respect and provide a significant presence of love to their companion in their unique style. Giving that respect to each other, we believe, is a significant step toward guiding your sexual play choices in the direction of really mature love.

Pleasurability

Sexual play should be fun! If an activity is not enjoyable for both parties, it will build anger and separation between you. That is not in the plan for “becoming one flesh.” Some sorts of your sexual activity may cause discomfort for one or both of you. A doctor should check that out. It is most likely curable if anything is causing you pain (such as virginity or painful erections). This may undoubtedly create hurdles to closeness.

Relationality

Unfortunately, it isn’t always the case. The rising prevalence of sexual addiction illnesses is one of the most devastating factors we see these days. When sexual pleasure becomes an addiction that leads to compulsive behavior, the connection with a marital partner may be replaced with a variety of fantasy-oriented stimuli. We’ve seen males get wholly engrossed with Internet pornography (or other forms). They are compelled to increase their exposure to the pornographic stimulus and masturbatory sexual tension release. For sexual relief, we’ve seen ladies get addicted to romance books or chat-room sex banter. These diseases displace the relational component of sexuality.

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